EDITOR'S NOTES: We bring you breaking news from the Obama camp. Barack has personally contacted the Fresh Brew Crew and requested we print this letter. After all, we don't want his minions coming after us, do we?
This is Barack. Barack your husband. Barack your savior. Barack your king.
Yesterday I asked that you get crafty and offer your wedding guests and birthday guests a wonderful chance to contribute to my 2012 Re-election Campaign. Yes, sign those checks over to "No Hope and Shame". And hurry before someone changes their mind.
Today, I have a new challenge. When Aunt Mary dies, in lieu of flowers, offer an option to send money in her name to the Barack for 2012 campaign. There's no need to pretty up a coffin. Aunt Mary doesn't care!
Thank you and your country thanks you!
Your humble King, Barack